As of now we have about 150 on the guest list. 80 of which are people that he was friends with long ago or were fraternity brothers.. and these people live in different parts of the country. 70 people are our close friends and family (20 his 50 mine-he doesnt have aunts/uncles/cousins).
How do I make this fair for both of us at a reasonable price?
How can I tell my fiance that he wants to invite too many people to the ceremony/reception?
I would just be honest with him, if you have a set budget on the amount of people you want to invite, I would break it out into groups of family, friends, etc and figure out who is going to get invited.
Instead of inviting a ton of friends to the actual wedding ceremony, why not try to have a "celebration" at a club/bar/restaurant after the wedding day just for friends. That way if his "frat" brothers drink, it will be out of their pocket, and everyone still gets to celebrate with you guys :).
Good Luck!
Reply:You need to talk to HIM about this issue.
You need to think about the financial situation, your budget.
If the budget cannot accommodate all of the guests, then the guest list needs a crackdown.
First on the guest list should be family members. Then close friends. Then casual friends. Then acquaintances.
And, you do not need alcohol at a reception. If it will cut down on costs, then have a dry reception. But that is up to you and your finances.
Again, like others have said, this is something you need to sit down and talk to HIM about, not us!
Reply:Well, who is paying for it? If your parents are, then you should have more control with that. For my fiance and I, I put a limit on how many people we could have and we split it up half. He has a few more than me, but it's pretty equal. You can also go through a list of those extra people and see how long he has known them and/or the last time he has talked to them. Also, your ceremony/reception site may help you limit how many people. I think if you are both paying, you should get 1/2 the people and him half, otherwise it wouldn't be fair.
Reply:If your not being honest at this stage then???!!!...... Just talk to him about it all otherwise whats the point in getting married if you can't discuss this little thing with him.
Reply:Gee, it's the fine art of compromise - of which both of you will be using a LOT in your marriage! The two of you need to decide how many you can afford to host, or with a bigger guest list you may need to downsize the scale or style of the wedding.
Great for your guy that he wants lots of people there to celebrate with - but the two of you need to talk!
Reply:Two things about your question concern me. One is that you're uncomfortable talking to your fiance about the size, scope and cost of your mutual wedding. This is a really small thing in the scope of what life has in store for you: how are you going to handle the really big things?
The second is that you somehow feel like you need to even things out--counting how many are "your" guests and how many are "his" guests, how much you personally value each guest, and calculating out how much each of your individual guests is likely to cost you. The "fair" thing to do is have a wedding that includes both of you and the people you both want there to celebrate it with you. I assume you have a budget. The two of you TOGETHER need to find a way to have the people who are important to each of you there on that budget.
Best wishes.
Reply:is the problem that you don't like who he's invited??
if he doesn' thave as much family as you.. it makes sence he wants to spend his special day with his friends..
my guess is worry about the amount of guests once you get all the replys back
Reply:This is a special moment for the two of you. You want him to have the freedom to choose. Let him have this, just like he is letting you have this.
Who cares if the guys finish the alcohol because at the weddings you can set it up that the wedding ceremony will cover only the first two drinks, after that they have to paid the bar for the drinks.
You need to have a list and so does your future husband. Remember this, after been married for so many years, you want him to say, "I remember person came to wedding and...." Let him have his precious moment that he can cherish years in the future with the children.
Reply:Just be honest with him. Don't stress over this, just tell him that you both can't afford to have that many people there %26amp; that you are going to have to cut some people. My husband %26amp; I only invited people that we see more than a couple of times a year.
Reply:If he cannot cut his guest list, then he needs to pay for his guests. From what you have written, you have 20 guests and he has 130. It is extremely unfair for you and your family to even have to pay for half of this. So . . . . tell him exactly how much it will cost for 130 people. Maybe he just doesn't realize. After he understands the pricing (and that you expect him to pay for his share), maybe he will be more reasonable about cutting his guest list.
And really, there is no need to invite friends you haven't seen in years. Tell him that you all can send them wedding announcements after the wedding. You can check out wording for announcements at verseit.com.
Good luck to you.
Reply:Explain to him that the easiest way to save money on your wedding is to limit the guest list. Are there constraints on your space? That can serve as another reason to cut back the list. Go through the list together and divide it into A, B and C lists. A listers are the people that HAVE to be there, B listers are the people you'd like to have if space/money allow. C listers are probably people you feel like you should invite or may invite as a last resort. Come up with a system together to decide if certain friends are A or B list people. For example, my fiance and I decided that if we didn't talk to them every week, they were B list people (except for family, of course). Work together to see if you can cut back the list. Make sure he understands that not EVERYONE you know has to be there. If they are people you don't care about being in touch with 2 years from now, what difference does it make if they witness your wedding?
Also, if you're worried about fraternity guys drinking you dry, talk to your bartender. He should be able to help you with a system to make sure it doesnt happen. For instance, you can put a 3 drink maximum (or 4 or 5 or whatever you want!) per person.
Good luck!
Reply:Sweetie, you are planning to spend the rest of your life with this man, and you can't communicate with him? You're going to need to figure out how to address issues with him in a productive manner, or you're in for some trouble! I suggest premarital counseling to work on your communication as a couple.
As for the guest list, just say "hey, hon, can we try to cut down the guest list some?" or "Let's have a guideline that anyone we haven't seen in at least a year (excluding family) isn't invited."
Good luck with your wedding!
Reply:Be honest with him and tell him you aren't comfortable with the number of people being invited. Just say you'd rather cut it down to 100 (or whatever). But, I think to be fair you should each cut some people - you shouldn't make him be the only one to make cuts. (I'm not saying you were going to do this, but it wasn't clear in your post.) My friend and her bf have said they're each allowed to invite 50 people and that's how they're keeping the list lower.
Reply:Ask him to do the 3 year rule. If he hasn't talked to someone within 3 years, then don't invite them to the wedding. That may get rid of some of his headache.
It's not really fair to you for him to have twice as many people there as you are, so you need to sit him down and explain that. If they are mutual friends, discard that because then those people are there for both of you, not just him.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
What is the correct wording to use on a party invite to reqwuest that only gag gifts be brought?
We are hosting a birthday party for my 88 year old g-ma and 80 year old uncle. As we are inviting many we haven't seen or even spoken to in years, we don't want to have people bring gifts -- their presence is enough! -- However, we would love to encourage gag gifts -- thinking prep H, Depends, over the hill t's, etc.....
How would I word that on the invite?
What is the correct wording to use on a party invite to reqwuest that only gag gifts be brought?
"we appreciate your great company so really, no gifts are necessary.
if you do want to, please bring gag gifts"
Reply:Not to forget things, but you also need to bring a White Elephant gift.
This is a gift of value between $1 and $20.
it can be silly, fun, or "Oh My God !! Where did that come from!!".
It should be wrapped, but without any markings of who it's from or for.
You do not have to "Buy" something, if you already have a gift about the house that is appropriate for the party.
Note that appropriate is in the eye of the gift giver!
Hope this helps as I love White Elephant parties. You don't have to necessarily use these exact words. Here is a link to how to play the game.
Reply:Please dont take along the usual gifts, make your gifts funny or quirky.
Or "please bring gag gifts!"
Reply:There is really not proper way to instruct your guests on what type of gift you are requesting. It is considered bad etiquette to mention gifts at all on an invitation, unless you are requesting no gifts at all, in which case you would write, "best wishes only."
One other thing - I don't know your family, obviously, but I hope the idea of the gag gift has come from the people being feted. How embarrassing for them if they are expecting a lovely party and end up with adult diapers and preparation H. Call me old-fashioned, but it seems inappropriate, especially if it's a "surprise" for the birthday people.
Reply:Just say it in the invitation, you said it already, guest will understand
Reply:Since you are asking people not to bring gifts, I do not see why you can't just say that on the invite, age appropriate gag gifts might be a nice way to say what you want. See last sentence.
I helped host a gradeschool reunion, and we fixed up a grand prize, full of age appropriate items, it was fun, and well recieved.
We had dentugrip, denture cleaning tablets and soaking tub, flip flop slippers in red plaid, magnifying glasses, prep H, senior vitamins, and on and on.
Hope granny and uncle have a sense of humor!
"In lieu of traditional gifts, we are asking everyone to bring a age appropritate gag gift."
Reply:***note....if you are inclined to bring a gift we would appreicate "gag gifts". It would contribute to the fun for _______.
Reply:I would write just that. Exactly what your qustion asks.
Reply:If bringing a gift Grandma has everything but any gag gift for over the hill would be fun and perfect for her. Let's all come up with some real funny stuff. See ya at the party.
Reply:IT IS IMPROPER AND NOT SOCIALLY CORRECT TO STATE WHAT TYPES OF GIFTS YOU WOULD LIKE. I LOVE THE LINE"YOUR PRESENCE IS HER PRESENT" THOUGH
Reply:In keeping with the spirit of fun, we request that you only bring gag gifts. The crazier the better! We look forward to seeing you there!
jewish name
How would I word that on the invite?
What is the correct wording to use on a party invite to reqwuest that only gag gifts be brought?
"we appreciate your great company so really, no gifts are necessary.
if you do want to, please bring gag gifts"
Reply:Not to forget things, but you also need to bring a White Elephant gift.
This is a gift of value between $1 and $20.
it can be silly, fun, or "Oh My God !! Where did that come from!!".
It should be wrapped, but without any markings of who it's from or for.
You do not have to "Buy" something, if you already have a gift about the house that is appropriate for the party.
Note that appropriate is in the eye of the gift giver!
Hope this helps as I love White Elephant parties. You don't have to necessarily use these exact words. Here is a link to how to play the game.
Reply:Please dont take along the usual gifts, make your gifts funny or quirky.
Or "please bring gag gifts!"
Reply:There is really not proper way to instruct your guests on what type of gift you are requesting. It is considered bad etiquette to mention gifts at all on an invitation, unless you are requesting no gifts at all, in which case you would write, "best wishes only."
One other thing - I don't know your family, obviously, but I hope the idea of the gag gift has come from the people being feted. How embarrassing for them if they are expecting a lovely party and end up with adult diapers and preparation H. Call me old-fashioned, but it seems inappropriate, especially if it's a "surprise" for the birthday people.
Reply:Just say it in the invitation, you said it already, guest will understand
Reply:Since you are asking people not to bring gifts, I do not see why you can't just say that on the invite, age appropriate gag gifts might be a nice way to say what you want. See last sentence.
I helped host a gradeschool reunion, and we fixed up a grand prize, full of age appropriate items, it was fun, and well recieved.
We had dentugrip, denture cleaning tablets and soaking tub, flip flop slippers in red plaid, magnifying glasses, prep H, senior vitamins, and on and on.
Hope granny and uncle have a sense of humor!
"In lieu of traditional gifts, we are asking everyone to bring a age appropritate gag gift."
Reply:***note....if you are inclined to bring a gift we would appreicate "gag gifts". It would contribute to the fun for _______.
Reply:I would write just that. Exactly what your qustion asks.
Reply:If bringing a gift Grandma has everything but any gag gift for over the hill would be fun and perfect for her. Let's all come up with some real funny stuff. See ya at the party.
Reply:IT IS IMPROPER AND NOT SOCIALLY CORRECT TO STATE WHAT TYPES OF GIFTS YOU WOULD LIKE. I LOVE THE LINE"YOUR PRESENCE IS HER PRESENT" THOUGH
Reply:In keeping with the spirit of fun, we request that you only bring gag gifts. The crazier the better! We look forward to seeing you there!
jewish name
Is It Ok to Invite The Groom to the Bridal Shower?
my fiance and I are having a small private ceremony at our church and we re just wondering if it s ok to invite the groom to the shower because we re planning to invite other couples as well. But it will be a mixture of couples and singles... is that ok?
Is It Ok to Invite The Groom to the Bridal Shower?
That's fine. If couples are going to be there, there's no reason why the groom can't attend. My DH attended our couples shower and there were some single people there as well. We also had showers where he wasn't invited because they were women only.
Reply:It's called a wedding shower if its with guys and girls, and a Bridal shower if it's just women.
Reply:Of course. We had a Jack and Jill shower. It makes more sense to me anyway.
Reply:It is done these days. How about including the groom, set it up so he gets a shower, too. Especially good if he is not going to do a batchelor drinking and strippers night with his buds.
Reply:Sure! Couple's showers are popular these days! Sounds like a lot more fun than making it all girly!
Reply:Yes, that sounds like fun! I wish I could have done that... but the person throwing my shower only has room in her place to invite the women :(
Reply:yes!
Reply:Why a Jack and Jill to start with.
Reply:Yes, but usually the groom is the only man. But you can have a couples Shower too.
Modern Wedding Advice
http://navillus99.blogspot.com
Is It Ok to Invite The Groom to the Bridal Shower?
That's fine. If couples are going to be there, there's no reason why the groom can't attend. My DH attended our couples shower and there were some single people there as well. We also had showers where he wasn't invited because they were women only.
Reply:It's called a wedding shower if its with guys and girls, and a Bridal shower if it's just women.
Reply:Of course. We had a Jack and Jill shower. It makes more sense to me anyway.
Reply:It is done these days. How about including the groom, set it up so he gets a shower, too. Especially good if he is not going to do a batchelor drinking and strippers night with his buds.
Reply:Sure! Couple's showers are popular these days! Sounds like a lot more fun than making it all girly!
Reply:Yes, that sounds like fun! I wish I could have done that... but the person throwing my shower only has room in her place to invite the women :(
Reply:yes!
Reply:Why a Jack and Jill to start with.
Reply:Yes, but usually the groom is the only man. But you can have a couples Shower too.
Modern Wedding Advice
http://navillus99.blogspot.com
How do i get my mom to let me invite soem friends over?
My mom is a very over protective person. i am going to be a sophomore in high school and i would like to have some friends over before school starts. I want to invite my 2 best friends just to hang out.
Well, i ask her nicely and every time i bring it up she rolls her eyes or makes up something to persuade me not to say anymore.
How do i get my mom to let me invite soem friends over?
dont give up asking. when you talk to her and she rolls her eyes, try not to be persuaded. tell her that she is preventing you from getting friends and you need a life. let her get to know your friends. if she sees that your friends are not crazy or whatever she may start changing her mind
Well, i ask her nicely and every time i bring it up she rolls her eyes or makes up something to persuade me not to say anymore.
How do i get my mom to let me invite soem friends over?
dont give up asking. when you talk to her and she rolls her eyes, try not to be persuaded. tell her that she is preventing you from getting friends and you need a life. let her get to know your friends. if she sees that your friends are not crazy or whatever she may start changing her mind
How do i get an invite to gay-torrents.net?
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Anybody offering an invite to Rue la la, Gilt Groupe, ideeli, or hautelook?
If somebody send me an invitation to any of the sites it would be grate! Thnx in advance!
Anybody offering an invite to Rue la la, Gilt Groupe, ideeli, or hautelook?
I don't think that those exist.....
Reply:Ruelala.com: http://www.giltgroupe.com/invite/makeupa...
Gilt.com: http://www.ruelala.com/invite/makeupalle...
Haute and ideeli: http://butterfly-black.blogspot.com/2008...
Other invitations come up when you google "invite" and the site you want.
most popular name
Anybody offering an invite to Rue la la, Gilt Groupe, ideeli, or hautelook?
I don't think that those exist.....
Reply:Ruelala.com: http://www.giltgroupe.com/invite/makeupa...
Gilt.com: http://www.ruelala.com/invite/makeupalle...
Haute and ideeli: http://butterfly-black.blogspot.com/2008...
Other invitations come up when you google "invite" and the site you want.
most popular name
Engagement party: is it necessary? Do I have to invite everyone who will be at the wedding?
We just got engaged in Jamaica on Saturday, and have just announced it to our friends and family. My father wants to throw us an engagement party, although since he will be paying for everything, we feel somewhat uncomfortable asking for an engagement party, as well.
Could we have a small engagement party with just the families and bridal parties? How much would an engagement party at a restaurant cost?
Engagement party: is it necessary? Do I have to invite everyone who will be at the wedding?
Engagement parties are optional. They are almost always smaller than weddings, so don't feel like you have to invite everyone. Additionally, it is less common to invite out of town relatives (especially ones who live really far away) to the engagement party. You can choose to invite close family and friends only. The cost of having the party at a restaurant varies considerably depending on total number of guests, the restaurant you choose, and how much boozing you plan on doing. For 20 people with some drinking I'd plan on several hundred dollars. You can save a lot of money if you have the party catered at the restaurant (with a predetermined menu instead of letting everyone order what they want).
Reply:There's no requirement to have an engagement party. Usually only rich folks or professionals or society folks do this these days. I think I'd use rule of thumb - how much time between now and the wedding? If more than 2 years, I'd have an engagement party. Make it a smaller guest list than the wedding, though.
Reply:An engagement party isn't necessary, but nice that your dad wants to throw you one.
It's usually just an informal event, no need for a meal. Just have a gathering of the two families at your dad's house for drinks and snackies, with you two, the wedding party, and close family from both sides - just so everyone can meet.
Reply:just go w/the ONE that
your Dad is paying for!!!!!
Cost: Approx:$25/person
Reply:Engagement party is nice to announce that you are engaged if you have the money for it and feel that it is worth it. To have a party to include all the people that will be in the wedding you will already be having a rehearsal dinner before the wedding anyways.Something to think about, ask your dad can he help with the rehearsal dinner instead.That is more meaning full and you will be hungry by the time you practice what you will be doing already.
Reply:Not required at all
I ain't having one as I think it is superfluous
Reply:Tell him to save his money for the wedding! ;)
I had 3 small engagement dinner parties. One with the Groomsmen and their better halves, 1 with the Bridesmaids and their better halves (at which I actually asked them to be in my wedding so it was a surprise) and 1 with our parents... all three were fun and less expensive.
Reply:not everyone but almost ur closest friends.
Reply:You haven't asked for the engagement party so let him throw it. The engagement party guest list should all be invited to the wedding, but not everyone you would invite to the wedding should be invited to the engagement party.
We kept ours small. And the wedding guest list is large. Usually it is the nearest and dearest people to you.
Congratulations
Modern Wedding Advice
http://navillus99.blogspot.com
Reply:I don't feel that an engagement party is necessary. Many people feel obligated to bring a gift to congratulate the newly engaged couple. We had a small family dinner with both of our parents, and we also had some friends get together at a restaraunt. It might be nice just to have the bridal party (if you've picked them) and the families together to meet. You can do this on a budget and probably for about $15 per person including drinks.
Reply:To me a engagement party is not necessary.
Could we have a small engagement party with just the families and bridal parties? How much would an engagement party at a restaurant cost?
Engagement party: is it necessary? Do I have to invite everyone who will be at the wedding?
Engagement parties are optional. They are almost always smaller than weddings, so don't feel like you have to invite everyone. Additionally, it is less common to invite out of town relatives (especially ones who live really far away) to the engagement party. You can choose to invite close family and friends only. The cost of having the party at a restaurant varies considerably depending on total number of guests, the restaurant you choose, and how much boozing you plan on doing. For 20 people with some drinking I'd plan on several hundred dollars. You can save a lot of money if you have the party catered at the restaurant (with a predetermined menu instead of letting everyone order what they want).
Reply:There's no requirement to have an engagement party. Usually only rich folks or professionals or society folks do this these days. I think I'd use rule of thumb - how much time between now and the wedding? If more than 2 years, I'd have an engagement party. Make it a smaller guest list than the wedding, though.
Reply:An engagement party isn't necessary, but nice that your dad wants to throw you one.
It's usually just an informal event, no need for a meal. Just have a gathering of the two families at your dad's house for drinks and snackies, with you two, the wedding party, and close family from both sides - just so everyone can meet.
Reply:just go w/the ONE that
your Dad is paying for!!!!!
Cost: Approx:$25/person
Reply:Engagement party is nice to announce that you are engaged if you have the money for it and feel that it is worth it. To have a party to include all the people that will be in the wedding you will already be having a rehearsal dinner before the wedding anyways.Something to think about, ask your dad can he help with the rehearsal dinner instead.That is more meaning full and you will be hungry by the time you practice what you will be doing already.
Reply:Not required at all
I ain't having one as I think it is superfluous
Reply:Tell him to save his money for the wedding! ;)
I had 3 small engagement dinner parties. One with the Groomsmen and their better halves, 1 with the Bridesmaids and their better halves (at which I actually asked them to be in my wedding so it was a surprise) and 1 with our parents... all three were fun and less expensive.
Reply:not everyone but almost ur closest friends.
Reply:You haven't asked for the engagement party so let him throw it. The engagement party guest list should all be invited to the wedding, but not everyone you would invite to the wedding should be invited to the engagement party.
We kept ours small. And the wedding guest list is large. Usually it is the nearest and dearest people to you.
Congratulations
Modern Wedding Advice
http://navillus99.blogspot.com
Reply:I don't feel that an engagement party is necessary. Many people feel obligated to bring a gift to congratulate the newly engaged couple. We had a small family dinner with both of our parents, and we also had some friends get together at a restaraunt. It might be nice just to have the bridal party (if you've picked them) and the families together to meet. You can do this on a budget and probably for about $15 per person including drinks.
Reply:To me a engagement party is not necessary.
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