How to word my wedding invite to ask them to pay for themselves for the reception...?

My fiancee and I have budgeted our wedding to pay for the 24 people in our lives who we couldn't get married without. You know, the people that if even one of them was missing then the day wouldn't be the same. We are unable to pay for anybody else without cutting costs to dodgy levels.We wanted the big wedding but couldn't afford it. How will I word the invitations to ask the others to fork out the $135 a head to come. Our parents aren't an option for cash...
How to word my wedding invite to ask them to pay for themselves for the reception...?
I think you answered your own question: "we wanted the big wedding but couldn't afford it." In other words, you CANNOT ask your guests to pay their own way, which means if you can't afford it, you can't have it. Why don't you have an intimate wedding with your 24 people, and then later send out wedding announcements with invitations to an informal reception - with inexpensive hors d'oevres and drinks (or do a no-hostbar). You can even do that in your backyard, or a friends home and have everything be homemade, to keep costs down.





I feel for you - I know it can be disappointing to not be able to have the wedding of your dreams, but at least this way you can sort of get the best of both worlds, not upset all your friends and family by asking them to shell out $135, AND focus on what's important - having the marriage of your dreams.
Reply:u dont need to do that..be nicer!!!
Reply:is this price per person?its too much my friend.I th谋nk nobody can not afford this.if you dont have much money for this wedding why you organize such a big deal with too much money??





peace..
Reply:Invite everyone to the wedding (the ceremony). If your invitation only includes the ceremony on it, you can send a separate card to those whom you want to be at the reception. But it's pretty tacky to have any guest pay for his/herself at the reception.
Reply:Don't word it on an invitation. It's not appropriate, technically you shouldn't even be expecting gifts at all. I would be insulted if I was invited to a wedding and I found out I wasn't important enough to be one of the people who got their meal covered.





I suggest you spread out the budget of the 24 people and do a appetizer/cocktail reception that you and your family and fiancee can afford. Or limit it entirely to a intimate dinner at a restaurant.





I'm sorry, I wish there was a better solution for you to get everything you want.
Reply:That is rediculous!!!. If you want just about everyone close to you to think you are a buffoon than ask them to pay $135 to come to your wedding.


I don't even know what to else say... I would be appalled. And I suppose you want a gift too!!!





Just have everyone over for a barbeque after the wedding, or do your 24 people thing and stop at that. Don't you dare ask people to pay to come to your wedding.
Reply:i really understand where you are coming from BUT i do think it is really tacky to ask that. i wanted everyone at my wedding that was important to me. SO, i had it at a small restaurant and it was like $14 a person. that way i could have everyone i wanted. you dont need to have it at a place thats $135. you can cut cost right there and have all the people you want. $135 times 24 quests is $3240. you can find a less expensive place and have more than 24 people for that kind of money. do a little research.
Reply:Sorry, but you can't. If you can't afford to have a big wedding, then you don't have one, unless you're willing to go into debt for it, which I wouldn't advise. It would honestly be the height of rudeness and tackiness to invite someone to your wedding, and then say "oh yeah, you have to pay for it." It just plain isn't done.





If you can't afford a meal, just have a cake and punch reception, and then invite more people. You can cut reception costs 2 ways, either invite fewer people, or serve less food.
Reply:Don't have food there. I wouldn't even go if one of my friends suggested to me that I would have to pay $135 to attend. That is ridiculous.


Why should they have to pay for your BIG day. Cut back and just have cake. It is about everyone getting together, not about the expense.
Reply:asking your guest to pay $135 to come is a lot of money!! I am sure there are other reception places that could have been more reasonably priced (say around 65-85 dollars). I don't know too many people that would pay that AND give you a wedding gift.
Reply:If you cannot afford to pay for them, then you do not invite them! You have to be mature and make a choice--do you want the BIG wedding with just your 24 or a simple cocktail reception with everyone. Frankly, since you are demonstrating such selfishness and greediness, one wonders if you are ready for marriage at all!
Reply:OK you so can't do that!!!!!! It's the WORST idea ever!!!


If you can't afford it, then you don't get to have it, it's that simple. Have a different kind a reception, just cake or something. Whatever you can afford
Reply:then dont invite anyone else!!!!





that is a lot of money, personally i couldn't come to a wedding if it cost that much money. and you probably wouldn't get any gifts either, and people would just get mad.
Reply:no dont do that Just serve cake and punch dear and have class that way
Reply:You should have two sets if invitations......one for the wedding ceremony only.....send that one to everyone you want at the wedding. The reception can be a "private party", and only those you can afford to pay for should be invited. It's just plain rude to invite someone to a reception and ask them to pay that much. That's more than a lot of people can afford to spend on a gift.
Reply:This is tough, but I think you will need to either keep your reception to those 24 people - or you need to make your reception just cocktails and cake (and instead of going to a restaurant for those, have the reception in a back yard and go to a warehouse superstore and buy cases of wine to cut costs again). It is extremely rude to ask your guests to pay for themselves. I would either wait to have my wedding until I can afford to feed everyone, cut my reception list to just those 24 people, pull out a loan, or do a cake and wine reception.





Good luck!
Reply:Thats gonna be tough, $135? If the more "unimportant" people have to come up with $135....do you think they would be willing to pay that much for a wedding of 2 people that THEY themselves might not find the most important? Do you get what I'm saying? If they arent extremely important to you, how do you know that you're important enough to them to pay $135? Thats quite alot of money...I wouldnt be expecting many wedding gifts...
Reply:That is sooooo Dodgy of you! Instead of hurting peoples feelings elope instead. It's cheaper and more fun! Go to Las Vegas like I did!
Reply:That really is horrible that you would do that! My husband and I just went to a wedding last weekend and had to pay for our drinks! We thought that was really rude. First off we traveled there and spent money on a hotel and gas. We had no money left over to drink! Let alone get our breakfest the next morning. That is wrong that you would really want to INVITE people to pay. If you can not afford to treat them like a GUEST then don't INVITE them at all. I would never go to a wedding that asked me to pay for myself. You don't invite people to your house for dinner and expect them to bring money to pay for it, do you?
Reply:Since you can't afford the price, don't invite them. It's too much to ask the guests to pay for their own meal at that cost, a gift, their transportation, hotels, clothing, etc... that's a lot of money for them to spend on your day. You should call and explain to each person that while you would love to have them, you just can't afford it. They will understand.





OR





Have a less expensive wedding and invite more people. Maybe offer several menu selection on the reply card. Have the two or three choices listed with prices and a line for selection. That way the people know that they are expected to pay for their own meal, but it shouldn't be $135 per person. Try a less expensive menu, like chicken, fish, and pork over prime rib. Also include "Cash Bar" so that the guests know that you will not be providing alcohol. If anything else is included in the $135, then try cutting it out. Favors and decorations can be done without when you are on a tight budget. Try a party supply store for inexpensive bulk wedding favors, and silk flowers instead of fresh flowers. There are a million ways to cut costs without going cheap and/or tacky.





EDIT:





OK, so it's $102.50 US. That's still too much to ask the guest to fork over to attend. You could always say on the card that in lieu of gifts, you are asking for help with wedding expenses. Then list tthe amount required to attend.


I still think it's tacky and a very bad idea. Not only will you offend all those people, they probably won't come, and don't expect them to be friendly after they see it. Asking for money is the height of vulgar.
Reply:Do not charge people to attend your wedding. There is no way (thank goodness) to make such a request of people. If you can only invite 24, do that. if you must have it larger, then feed everyone less (or just a few trays of passed appetizers), have the wedding in a back yard or a public park. There are lots of ways to make a less expensive or smaller wedding work....but there is no way on earth of charging people to attend your wedding without offending them forever.
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