Does one invite all family members to a religious service/luncheon for a 13 year old child despite distance?

Most of these family members live 1000 miles or more distant from the location of the function. In many cases there has been no communication between the parties involved for years. No travel or hotel accomodations are offered. If one receives such an invitation and cannot or does not wish to attend, is one still obigated to send a gift?
Does one invite all family members to a religious service/luncheon for a 13 year old child despite distance?
If there is not a close relationship (in terms of communication, not blood relation), then there is no reason to send an invitation. It would probably be seen as rude and presumptious for this to be the first communication in a number of years.





However, if it were a relation with whom you were in close communication, despite physical distance, then go ahead and send the invitation. Even if they don't send a gift, I'm sure they will feel honored to know they are still thought of for special family ocassions and are still being included in your child's life.





If you are on the receiving end of this invitation, then I don't feel there is any "obligation," to send a gift. The sender may have been fishing for gifts, but that's just plain rude!
Reply:Not if there are tense relationships with these distance relationships. If there were no tensions, go ahead and send them an invitation. If you don't want people to feel obligated to send a gift, maybe there is a charity your 13 year old would like people to make donations to. You can include this information in the invitation. Some people may feel less obliged to send a tangible gift. Cards from distance relatives are perfectly acceptable with or without gifts when relations live out of state.
Reply:You don't have to send a gift, unless they want to. Don't feel bad if they don't either.
Reply:it doesn't matter if they come or not. you should send them an invitation anyway to let them know you are thinking of them. unless you don't talk to them...ever. it's nice to be invited even tho they can't make it.
Reply:It's not the object that everyone will attend... or they will send a gift... The main focus is on the occasion for 13 year old... a sort of celebratory message to all family members and friends letting them know you are proud of the 13 year old and his/her achievement... If people can attend... fine, if they send a gift... fine... if not don't take it personal... The main focus like I said should be on the 13 year olds achievement...
Reply:no you are not obligated
Reply:If family members have had no communication in years they will not come or send gifts.they will thing they are invited only to bring a gift.
Reply:My cousin lives in Britain (we're in Canada) and we were all invited to his wedding but for other functions, he sends a photo after the fact. When his son was born, we got a beautiful birth announcement and for his christening, we got a photo.





Sending a card with a photo once your child has had his/her luncheon could ensure that the communication lines open up again.





If you do invite the family members, be prepared for them to say yes. Include hotel information in the invitation so they understand that they're not being invited to the function AND to stay in your home.





My parents had me invite 14 family members from Scotland to my wedding with promises that they wouldn't come. They came.... and they had nowhere to stay so we spent the week before my wedding getting them tucked in with friends and family. It turned out to be a fabulous time and I'm glad they came but it was a tough time and an unexpected problem. :)
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